So there are a lot of reasons why this book resonated with me and made me cry for younger me, but foremost among them was the very clear cut, if never fully named, eldest daughter syndrome our main character Deena suffers from. Idk if it’s even a thing in certain cultures, but the expectation she faces to pretend that everything is okay, to soothe her parents by pretending that their choices are her choices, really cut me to the bone.
It’s not a spoiler to say that Deena manages to overcome this. The 21st century, particularly in America, is much kinder to children with mental health issues than it was when I was growing up. Watching young Deena learn to take agency over her own mental health was inspiring, even for an old like me, but especially for an old who wants her kids to grow up without all the unnecessary mental anguish I went through at their age.
The story itself revolves around Deena Rahman, a middle schooler who loves art but who worries that her parents’ constant fighting over money will lead to their divorce. She’s also under pressure to keep her grades up while helping with her mom’s dress business. Her mom is something of a complainer, constantly moaning about the price of things, including Deena’s much needed dental care. Deena, unsurprisingly, takes this to heart, blaming herself for requiring a mouth guard and secretly wanting extra art classes. Her beloved younger brother, meanwhile, pretty much gets to ask her to do all sorts of chores for him but only reluctantly reciprocates (this is a common theme in Hena Khan’s books. I love that the main characters adore their kid brothers but I personally find these younger brother characters irritating.)