Witch’s Business by Diana Wynne Jones

Also known in some markets as Wilkins’ Tooth.

I’m joining my pal Emily for A Year Of Diana Wynne Jones, a project she recently started where she and other interested readers go through the entire DWJ oeuvre over the course of a year. I decided to dip in and out as books were available to me: I own a handful, but am mostly relying on my public libraries to cover the rest. I am very lucky in being able to access both the DC and Montgomery Public Library systems, as they helped me get started here. That said, this is technically the second book in the project as the first, Changeover, is very much out of print (as well as out of her usual children’s fantasy oeuvre.)

Witch’s Business itself is the tale of Frank and Jess Pirie, whose pocket money has been suspended one summer. In an effort to make some money, the siblings decide to start a business. At first they offer to run errands for neighbors in exchange for cash, but when their father puts a stop to that, they decide to specialize in getting revenge. Awkwardly, their very first customer is Buster, the same bully that Frank owes money to. Buster is sore that Vernon Wilkins managed to knock out his tooth during a fight, so wants the Piries to get a tooth from the Wilkins boy in turn. If they can manage that, he’ll forgive Frank’s debt entirely.

The Piries have no interest in helping a bully, but the relief of the debt would take a massive load off of Frank’s shoulders. So off they go to talk to Vernon, and figure out a way to make everyone happy. Buster seems satisfied enough with their work, but Jess and Frank soon learn that he’s escalated the situation by calling on local witch Biddy Iremonger for further reinforcement. Biddy is not pleased when she learns that the Piries are encroaching on her specialty, and warns them off the business of vengeance. The Piries think she’s kidding, until it becomes very clear that she’s not.

The rest of this review talks about a potentially large plot spoiler, so I do recommend reading the book first before continuing here. I’ll try to be as vague in the details as possible, but I don’t want to ruin the surprise for readers as cynical as myself.

So I read a lot of books, specializing in crime, speculative and children’s fiction. I’ve actually stopped reviewing all the kids books I’ve been checking out from the library to read with my own children over the summer, simply because my other professional obligations are too pressing. Keeping that background in mind, I spent a goodly portion of this book thinking, “There’s going to be a rational explanation for everything in the end, because this reads like a very sensible British novel and the kids are clearly ascribing to witchcraft perfectly reasonable things that they don’t know how to explain otherwise, due to their limited experiences with medical ailments etc.”

Reader, I was so wrong.

One thing I’ve forgotten about DWJ is her constant conviction that kids should be believed and that magic is real. Biddy is mean and magically gifted and she’s deliberately set about plaguing the people that the Piries find themselves getting involved with over the course of running their business. Many, if not most young readers, will unquestioningly believe that Biddy has magic throughout, whereas more jaded minds could be more inclined to assume that there’s a “logical” explanation for everything. It’s interesting as an adult reader to get the feeling that DWJ was deliberately setting me up for a fall here. Perhaps I’m overthinking it, but I would 100% not put it past her to have written a book that works so well on multiple levels to remind all her readers of the magic of fantasy.

This was honestly a great way to kick off the reading challenge, and I’m super excited about getting more DWJ books from the library. Not, ofc, as excited about finally getting the excuse to revisit one of my all time favorite YA novels, The Time Of The Ghost (in October, according to the schedule!) It’s so nice to finally have an excuse to explore more of the oeuvre of one of the most influential fantasy writers of the past century. Alas that that will not include next week’s selection, the very out-of-print The Ogre Downstairs. I’ll check in the week after with Eight Days Of Luke tho!

Witch’s Business by Diana Wynne Jones was first published January 1 1973.