Hyperion (Hyperion Cantos #1) by Dan Simmons

I am getting So. Fucking. Tired of picking up a sci-fi “classic” and having to read through pages and pages of barely endurable garbage to come to the conclusion of “what the fuck was that?!” And I don’t say this about all the classics, obviously: decades on, Ender’s Game, Parable Of The Sower and A Fire In The Deep are still amazing, mind-bending, minimally problematic books that, unlike fucking OverHypedrion, stand up as individual novels without needing another whole four hundred pages to be a complete story. And look, Hyperion isn’t as godawful as Shadow And Claw or Gardens Of The Moon: there’s some good writing and storytelling in this volume but that ending blew. As did Martin Silenius’ story. As did, oh my God, the total adolescence petulance masquerading as the traitor’s story. As a dying utterance “A plague on both your houses!” is striking, poetic and justified. As a way of life, it’s petty as shit. And the traitor cries at the betrayals, and I’m supposed to feel sad? Gtfo.

Without a doubt, the most compelling tales were the more overtly religious ones. I stayed up waaaaay too late at night finishing the priests’ tale, which was horrifying and good. So for the stupid book to end without even hinting at a resolution was a cheap let-down, especially in relation to Lamia’s non-answer to Hoyt’s assertion regarding the cruciform. Seriously, just publish this as a single novel with the second book that everyone seems to love and I’d (probably) be a happier camper. As it is, I’m just irritated at the fact that this book goes on forever without actually coming to any sort of decent resolution short of obtaining a whole other book.